Updated: Jan 28
For some of you, you have the perfect relationship. You have the man of your dreams, you have the perfect life, you have the perfect job, you have the perfect everything. But for others you may not. You may want this feeling and strive for a longing loving relationship. So what has changed and why are you feeling this way? You need to ask yourself some questions to figure out where and what has gone wrong.
Do you love your partner? Are you in love with your partner? These are two very different things. You may have children and the love you've lost for your partner is because children have got in the way and you don't feel in love anymore. You will always love them as they are the mother or father of your children but are you actually in love with them anymore. Do you have that lust or that butterfly feeling when you come in from work? Or have you missed them during the day?
Of course, everyone has their struggles, their strains in their relationships but you need to feel happy in it. To the outside world you may have all this but inside something might not be quite right. What are you wanting from the relationship? The main reason most marriages and relationships break down is due to lack of communication. Your partner cannot read your mind. You need to tell them what is bugging you.
My husband and I have been though some hard times and it was due to lack of communication. Since we've started talking and really breaking down what the issues are, then we are able to talk freely and openly to each other. No one is a mind reader. Yes you might think you know your other half very well but sometimes just that look or tone is enough to ask what is wrong. It all comes down to communication.
You might think you are not in love with your partner anymore and that is OK. You maybe love them and care for them deeply but you may not actually be in love with them. This is where you need to both sit down and talk. Your partner may feel the same but because no one has brought it up, you carry on like everything is normal when both of you are unhappy. Again its communication. If you think you want to leave your partner as you don't love them anymore then this is the time to talk and really break down the barriers to see why you have fallen out of love with them.
Maybe go and do something you did when you were first together. What did you like about each other that made you have the spark in the first place. Has that spark now gone? Try and find it and get it back. Go for that walk along the beach or go for a dinner date. Talk to each other.
When I first started dating my now husband, after 4 weeks of being together he got cold feet and said this relationship wouldn't work. He was in a small amount of debt and he didn't want to drag me into that. We split up for a week but within that week, we were speaking on the phone everyday, getting closer and closer. The night we got back together we had that magical talk. We were sat on the beach snuggled together, looking up at the stars and talking well into the early hours. That was the night that felt that our relationship was meant to be, because we communicated. We have been together for over 20 years now. So you see, you can have that loving, happy, healthy relationship if you just communicate.
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